Transcript:The Fairly OddParents! (episode)
Script *[the Turner's house at night.] *'Mr. Turner': Thanks for babysitting tonight, Vicky. Timmy just loves making new friends, don't you Timmy? *'Vicky': No problem, Mr. Turner! I just love Timmy. Timmy We're gonna be best pals. for eyes; angel halo appears on the top of her head Right, Timmy? *'Timmy': Oxygen...darkness... *'Vicky': Have fun at the movies! Bye! [her loving smile changes to a nasty-looking scowl as she shuts the door] All right, squirt, three things: 1) Stay out of my way. 2) Go to bed early. 3) Do the dishes. *'Timmy': Mom told you to do 'em! *'Vicky': Oh yeah... well, you wouldn't want her to find this magazine, would you? [holds up a magazine titled "Chix"] *'Timmy': That's not mine! Mom will never believe you. *'Vicky': Ha! Oh, I wouldn't say that; it works great at my house! Just ask my little brother. on the phone and a child screaming is heard on the receiver *'Timmy': OK, OK, I'll do it! *'Vicky': [sitting down to watch TV] Excellent! And as your reward, how about I order pizza for us? *'Timmy': OK, but no anchovies! *[About 15 minutes later, he crawls out of the kitchen and comes upon Vicky with an empty pizza box.] *'Timmy': Hey, you ate all the pizza! *'Vicky': Relax, runt. I saved you a piece. [holds up one with anchovies] *'Timmy': AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! *[Later, Timmy lies on his bed. Vicky drenches a bucket of water on him.] *'Vicky': Good, you're awake. Wouldn't want you to miss your bedtime! *'Timmy': But I'm not tired! *'Vicky': Oh, we could watch your favorite television show - The World of Lip Gloss! It's on the Makeup Channel. *'Timmy': That's your favorite show! *'Vicky': Oh, so it is! [laughs evilly and leaves the room] *'Timmy': Very funny! [slams door and gets out his Magic 9-Ball] Oh Magic 9-Ball, when will my parents get back from the movies? answer Titanic: Director's Cut?! They'll be there all night! Man, that's dumb! *''throws the Magic 9-Ball at the wall, causing it to break open. A magic aura forms from the ball, then swirls into thin air, bringing forth the entrance of Cosmo and Wanda.'' *'Cosmo and Wanda': HEY TIMMY! *'Cosmo': I'm Cosmo! *'Wanda': I'm Wanda! *'Both': And we're... YOUR FAIRY GODPARENTS! *'Wanda': What do you think, Timmy? *'Timmy': I think I'm calling the cops. *'Wanda': Hold it, tiger! railway signal appear stopping Timmy You can't tell anyone about us. *'Cosmo': If you do, we'll just go away forever. *'Timmy': Why? *'Wanda': Well, that's what the rulebook says. [poofs up Da Rules and it lands on Timmy] Oops, sorry. *'Cosmo': There's lots of rules, Timmy. *'Timmy': Why are you here? *'Cosmo': We want to help you! We're magic! Ooh! Magic! Ooh! *'Wanda': We grant wishes! [chuckles] *'Vicky': [slams door open] What's going on in here?! *'Timmy': Nothing. *'Vicky': What's with the fish? *'Timmy': Uh, those are my godfish-- goldfish! *'Vicky': Fish are riddled with germs. I wouldn't want you getting sick. Maybe I should flush 'em! *'Timmy': No! *'Cosmo': Should we do something? *'Wanda': Well, he's got to wish for it first! *'Cosmo': Ooh, I hate that rule. *'Wanda': I'm calling a union meeting. *'Vicky': I want these disgusting creatures out of here [walks out of the room] or it's toilet time for the two of them! [exits and slams the door] *''and Wanda pop out of their fish disguises and back to their fairy form'' *'Wanda': [sarcastically] Sweet girl. *'Cosmo': I love her fangs. *'Timmy': You grant wishes, huh? *'Cosmo': Sure do! *'Wanda': And we love clients with [wave her arms wide and hits Cosmo off-screen by accident] creative imaginations! *'Timmy': Then I wish for one thing: gelatin. *[quick cut to Vicky relaxing in the bathtub. The water turns into gelatin, much to her horror.] *'Cosmo': You always were great with dessert! [he and Wanda giggle] *'Timmy': Whipped cream! [the shower head squirts it on Vicky] Cherry! [a giant cherry lands on Vicky as she tries to sneak out of the tub] That's great! Can you make her into a giant chocolate shake? *'Cosmo': Oooh, may I, Pookie? *'Wanda': Of course, Stallion. *[Cosmo turns Vicky into a giant snake.] *'Timmy': Aaaaahhhhh! *'Wanda': He said "chocolate shake, not "chocolate snake!" *'Cosmo': [Looking at his wand] I gotta get this thing fixed! *[the giant snake Vicky jumps and crashes through the bathroom walls and chase after Timmy] *'Wanda': Timmy, wish for something! *'Timmy': I wish she was a fly! [C&W turn her into one and give Timmy a flyswatter] Thank you. *'Vicky': Aaaaahhhhh! [flies away and backs onto the freezer door] *'Timmy': Frostbite! *[C&W come out of the freezer as polar bears and scare Vicky.] *'Cosmo': Anything else, Timmy? *'Timmy': Here's a wish list. *'C&W': Ooooooh. *'Vicky': [now back to normal] You can't do this to me! I'm the babysitter! *'Wanda': [sits on Vicky, as a giant baby] Goo goo! *'Cosmo': [as Groucho Marx] That's the first time the baby ever sat on the sitter! *'Vicky': Help! *'Cosmo': Sorry! The secret word was pie! [throws a pie in Vicky's face] *[Vicky screams and runs off, then stops and sees she's in a belly of a whale, actually a transformed Cosmo. She screams again and jumps out of him.] *'Cosmo': Sorry, is it my breath? *[Vicky swims for her life and is suddenly turned into an astronaut. Cosmo and Wanda come zapping her in colored spaceships.] *'Vicky': Yikes! *'Wanda': [wearing a Darth Vader costume] The force is strong with this one! *'Cosmo': [wearing the same] I am your father! I always wanted to say that. *[Vicky jumps into a crater to avoid their fire. When she climbs out, it has turned into a circus cannon that fires her, tied up, onto some train tracks.] *'Timmy': [dressed like Snidely Whiplash] Well Vicky, any last words? *'Cosmo': [as the train] Woo woo, baby, woo woo! *'Timmy': Well? *'Vicky': I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Stop, I'll do anything! [scene fades as if it were a dream] Anything! *'Mr. Turner': Vicky? Vicky? Looks like you were having a bad dream. Maybe too much pizza? *'Mrs. Turner': Why don't we drive you home now? *'Vicky': Uh, sure. *'Timmy': Oh, Vicky, remember you promised to hand-wash all my laundry? After all, mom, she did such a great job on the dishes. *'Mrs. Turner': Of course, dear. *'Vicky': LAUNDRY?! Why you little, uh-- [notices C&W in fishbowl] Laundry! Sure, I'll do your laundry! I don't know what's going on around here, but I'm gonna find out. *'Timmy': See ya, Vicky! Hey mom, Vicky's the best friend ever! Can she babysit all the time? *'Mrs. Turner': Of course, dear. *'Cosmo': Looks like we'll be here a while! *'Wanda': Well, at least we'll be clean! [they giggle and swim inside their castle] Category:Episode transcripts